Discovering Purpose: Laying a Clear Path for Family Life

What is Purpose?

Purpose is the reason something is created, including every individual on Earth. It is not something to be guessed or randomly determined; instead, it is an essence that must be discovered for meaningful living. Just as a product is designed with an initial specific function, every person has a unique purpose that drives their existence. In practical terms, purpose gives direction, focus, and fulfillment. Without discovering one’s purpose, life can feel like an endless cycle of trial and error.

In many African cultures, societal expectations often dictate life choices, sometimes overshadowing personal purpose. Many young people find themselves in careers, marriages, and lifestyles that do not align with their natural abilities and calling. True fulfillment comes when individuals break free from societal expectations and embrace their divine purpose, which informs every aspect of their lives, including family.

What is the Relationship Between Purpose and Family Life?

In the divine order of creation, purpose precedes family life. Every individual is born with a unique assignment before they enter into marriage. Family life is a subset of an individual’s purpose, meaning a stable and functional family is built on the foundation of a clearly defined personal purpose.

In many African societies, there is immense pressure to get married at a certain age, often without regard for personal purpose or readiness. This pressure has led many into marriages where they struggle to find personal fulfillment, leading to family dysfunction. When individuals lack clarity about their purpose, they risk building families that lack vision and direction.

A well-defined purpose is the driving force behind a healthy family. Couples who understand their purposes complement each other, leading to stability, functionality, and growth. Without purpose, family life can become a routine for survival rather than a partnership for impact and fulfillment.

What is God’s Purpose for Family Life? (Genesis 1:28)

1. To Be Fruitful (Beyond Childbearing)

In some cultures, a family’s success is measured by the number of children they produce. While childbearing is a necessity, being fruitful extends beyond biological reproduction. It includes bearing positive results in different aspects of life, such as career, business, and social impact; that is, having a positive influence in the society.
A family should not just focus on having children but on raising productive members of society. A fruitful family nurtures talents, builds character, and creates a legacy of excellence. Fruitfulness means making meaningful contributions to society, ensuring that the family’s influence extends beyond its immediate members.

2. To Multiply (Expanding Impact)

Multiplication does not mean just increasing in numbers; it means expansion in influence and productivity. A strong family should produce individuals who add value to society. African families have traditionally thrived on communal living, where wisdom and knowledge are passed down through generations through oral tradition and other mediums. However, modern families must go beyond mere survival and focus on building transgenerational wealth, knowledge, and strong moral values.
Multiplication means that what is built within a family should grow beyond its original form. Parents reproduce their purposeful life traits in their children, and the children replicate them in society, transferring this purposeful trait into society through their influence among different age groups or contemporaries. 

3. To Fill the Earth (Leaving a Lasting Legacy)

A family should not just exist for itself but should contribute positively to the world. History is filled with families that have left lasting legacies in leadership, business, and innovation. However, in many cases, family influence is restricted to just their immediate environment.
Filling the earth means ensuring that a family’s values, principles, and impacts transcend borders. This can be through leadership, mentorship, innovation, or philanthropy. A family should raise individuals who create solutions, bring transformation, and make a difference in the world.

4. To Have Dominion (Authority in Purpose)

Dominion means having control and influence in one’s area of purpose. Every family should have an area of specialization where they establish excellence and authority. Many families have skills, talents, and traditions passed down through generations. These should not just be maintained but expanded upon to establish dominance in their field.
For example, a family that is skilled in agriculture should aim not just to farm but to lead in agricultural innovation. A family with a history in medicine should not just practice but should also pioneer new solutions. This is how dominion is exercised—by turning talents and purpose into authority and influence.

Demystifying the Traditional Purpose of Family Life

1. Family Life is Not Just for Childbearing

In many societies, especially in Africa, a marriage without children is often seen as a failure. While childbearing is necessary, family life should go beyond reproduction. A family should be a place of emotional support, intellectual growth, and moral development that goes beyond the biological family members.
A couple without children can still build a successful family by contributing to society in other ways. Adopting, mentoring, and sponsoring less privileged children are ways to extend the influence of a family beyond biological offspring. True family success is measured by impact, not just by the number of children.

2. Family Life is Not Just for Social Status Upgrading

Marriage is sometimes seen as a means to elevate social class for either sex, but this is far too small a reason for God to have instituted family life. In some cultures, families pressure their children to marry to earn more respected status in the society, or the parents earn the status of a grandmother or a grandfather without considering compatibility or purpose alignment. This has led to unhappy and dysfunctional marriages.
Rather than seeking marriage for status, individuals should prioritize purpose alignment. A family built on personal fulfillment and shared values will achieve more than one built solely for social elevation.

3. Family Life is Not Just to Satisfy Sexual Urges

Sex is a necessary aspect of marriage, but it is not the foundation of a successful family, and it is too small a reason for instituting family life. Many young people rush into marriage because of sexual urge and attraction, only to discover that true companionship requires much more than sexual intercourse.
Marriages built on purpose and shared vision last longer than those built on physical attraction alone. Couples must focus on intellectual, emotional, and spiritual compatibility to ensure a strong foundation for family life.

4. Family Life is Not Just for Friendship

Friendship is essential in marriage, but it should not be the sole reason for entering into a marital relationship. Many families struggle because their foundation was built on temporary emotions and affections facilitated by physical things, which most of the time are subjected to changes not bargained for as an individual grows physically, rather than a long-term vision that is capable of sustaining the family even when physical attraction changes.
A family should be a partnership for purpose fulfillment, not companionship for worldly pleasures alone. Couples should support each other in their dreams, encourage growth, and work together toward a common goal, among many other pleasurable things they do. A strong marriage is not just about companionship but about building something that outlasts the couple and leaves a lasting impact in the lives that cross their path.

Certainly! Here’s the edited and expanded version of point 5, written in a formal and engaging tone for your youth audience and structured as part of the “Demystifying the Traditional Purpose of Family Life” section:

5. Family Life is Not Just for Getting a Social or Domestic Helper

In traditional African settings, marriage, especially from the male perspective, has often been viewed as a means to acquire a domestic helper. Women are frequently reduced to roles such as cooking, cleaning, and child nurturing, as though their primary value lies in maintaining the household. While these tasks are part of family responsibilities, they are far too narrow to define the true purpose and worth of a woman in marriage.

God’s concept of a “helper,” introduced in Genesis, goes far beyond chores and childcare. The Hebrew word for “helper” (ezer) is the same word used to describe God’s role as our helper. This reveals that a wife is designed to be a multifaceted support system—emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and purposefully. She is a co-builder of destiny.

A man who views his wife solely as a domestic worker misses the depth of partnership God intended. Marriage is not a hiring arrangement; it is a purposeful union where both partners sharpen, support, and elevate one another toward the fulfillment of destiny. In today’s world, young people must move beyond outdated cultural assumptions and embrace a more holistic, purpose-driven view of marriage.

Your Purpose and Choice of Partner

1. Discover Purpose Before Choosing a Life Partner

Choosing a life partner before discovering your purpose can lead to confusion and dissatisfaction in marriage; certainly, it is not encouraged. It is like embarking on a journey without knowing where you’re heading personally and, to worsen it, bringing someone, your spouse, who knows nothing about where you are going on the journey. Without a clear purpose, individuals may select partners who don’t align with their goals. For instance, some see marriage as a milestone without considering the compatibility of personal purposes. This leads to marriages where one or both partners feel unfulfilled or stagnated.
Taking time to discover your purpose ensures that when you enter marriage, you are on the same journey as your spouse, and together, you can support each other in fulfilling your destiny.

2. Purpose Discovery is a Key Compatibility Measure

Compatibility in marriage goes beyond shared interests or values, blood group or genotype, complexity or stature, tribe or ethnicity; it includes having aligned purposes. When partners share compatible purposes or believe in their discovered purposes, they can support each other in fulfilling their individual and joint goals.
When choosing a partner, ensure that your purpose and that of your fiance/fiancee are aligned or that you can believe and support each other’s vision. A successful marriage is not just about personal attraction; it’s about mutual growth and fulfillment.

3. A Spouse is a Purpose Partner, Not Just a Co-Parent

Marriage is not just about raising children or managing a household. Your spouse should be a partner in your life’s purpose, helping you navigate the challenges and celebrating your achievements. In many African cultures, the concept of a wife as a “helper” often focuses solely on domestic responsibilities. However, a wife (and vice versa) should also support her husband in his professional and personal endeavors, and vice versa.

Conclusion: The Certainty of Your Purpose Determines the Sanity and Success of Your Family Life

A purposeful life leads to a purposeful family. When individuals discover their God-given assignment, their marriages and families become stronger, leading to a more stable society. The foundation of a successful family is not just love but a shared vision for impact, legacy, and fulfillment.